Tag:

affection

By Parika Singh

“Ow! Ow! Ouch!”, I muttered in pain as blood trickled down my wrist making it difficult to hold on to the dirty squirming creature tucked under my arm trying to free itself by grabbing onto my increasingly muddy t-shirt. I looked around at the pile of rubble and sand on the under construction roof on the fourth floor of an exposed brick building near my house and fixed my gaze at the culprit responsible for this untimely adventure. Razor sharp golden brown eyes innocently stared back at me completely oblivious to my discomfort and lazily started licking its tail.

I had successfully managed to avoid any social interactions around my neighborhood for 26 years but in the past six months I had been forced to ring several doorbells dutifully following two mischievous brats constantly landing themselves in inconvenient scrapes necessitating my involvement in needlessly adrenaline fueled escapades, the latest ending with dirt on my cheek, multiple cuts on my hand, a tiny fur ball still wriggling around my elbow and its slightly older version gracefully following me down several flights of steps on our way home while I was nodding along the way to the residents of the building whose curious glances asked the unspoken question I get quite often these days, “are those really your cats?”

The strangest thing about this strange journey is that it began with a word. “No!” “No, no, no!” Not again, I thought, as I heard my mother’s protests while lamenting the destruction of yet another batch of perfectly laid out sweets and savories for the ongoing Diwali festivities in November. “Did she sneak in again?” I enquired. My mother pointed towards the upturned tray and half eaten soiled food in frustration and said, “I don’t know what to do. No matter how firmly it is sealed, she manages to find a way inside and spoil something every day”. My father had the perfect solution to the problem.  He started leaving a bowl of milk outside on the porch so that she didn’t feel the need to search for sustenance inside the house. That was all it took for an ordinary hazel brown stray cat to come to our house everyday and scream for dairy products with all of her feline entitlement.

I had never imagined having pets around me. Growing up in a house with grandparents who were not fond of animals to my mother’s aversion to anything that can disturb her home’s pristine hygiene, I had never even wished for one. I loved animals but I preferred them at a distance. I enjoyed visiting friends who had dogs bouncing around their yard but didn’t feel the inclination to go near them. And I didn’t know anyone who had a cat. Up until then, they were just small stealthy beings fond of crawling through cracks in kitchen windows and ruining entire pails of milk just for the sake of a few sips.

So for the first few days, I didn’t pay attention to the newest addition of our household, often found lounging on the porch chairs quietly waiting for my father’s return. But one day my father was getting late and requested me to fill up her bowl. I went to do so unwillingly and ended up staying outside to watch her drink out of morbid curiosity. Surprisingly, every tiny movement was endlessly fascinating to me and I didn’t realize that nearly half an hour had passed. As soon as my father came, she went running to greet him in her usual fashion of rubbing her head against his leg and it made me want to earn that kind of trust as well. I went back inside but couldn’t stop thinking about her sitting on her hind legs, ready to pounce upon an unassuming moth and I had this sudden urge to know more about her. By the end of the week, I had learnt as much about her as was possible without actually going to a veterinary school. I didn’t know how long she was planning on visiting but regardless of whether it was temporary or permanent, I wanted to make her stay as comfortable as possible. It took some convincing but eventually the milk was replaced by cat food, there were balls for her to play with and she was simply christened ‘Mau’.

I had recently quit my job and I was lacking purpose and struggling with an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness that threatened to envelope me the longer I stayed isolated, refusing to communicate my fears with the people around me. But her presence was embalming in my life, gently soothing open wounds, seeking comfort in my company and giving me a joyful reason to look forward to each day. I slowly got to know her soft spots and defensive triggers, her varied sounds and favorite scratching posts. In return, she memorized my voice and all the different ways that can be used to reach my room and find me.

Most days, I would usually be awoken by the sound of her incessant meowing for meals, repeated every few hours intercepted by demands to spend time with her, during which she would scream till I would come outside and then ignore me till I left. But some days, the most difficult ones, in which I was burdened by the monotony of life and unable to match the throbbing pace of the world, I would unexpectedly be greeted by a furry embrace. I vividly remember one cold evening last December in which I was huddled against the couch clutching my legs against my chest as a tear sidled down my face and I suddenly felt something sliding against my back. Mau had somehow sensed that I was in pain and had jumped up to cuddle next to me and refused to leave till the world had started feeling so much warmer lying next to her. I had gotten used to a more calming life with a quiet presence next to my feet until one morning in February when another tiny kitten entered my garden.

He was a miniature replica of my majestic queen and the strong scent of her food had attracted another stray who decided to make it his abode despite Mau’s reservations. She tried to shake him off her territory but he came persistently till she realized that it would take far less effort to befriend him. The food bowls and scratching posts doubled overnight but so did the boundless energy in my front yard which invariably seeped into my life. My quiet cat who cried for occasional meals was replaced by two inseparable fur balls who jumped on furniture and ran across the yard and decimated everything in their path. They ate and slept together and played and fought with equal vigor.  It took weeks for the little kitten to utter a sound in my presence but as soon as I heard the tiny squeak for the first time, I knew that he would forever be known as ‘Miu’. 

By March, the cool air was welcoming a warmer breeze as the ground was being kissed by falling leaves. Before they came into my life, I had never taken the time to sit and absorb the sheer magnitude and beauty of a pulsating life around me. But the existence of a living breathing creature can teach us so much about the world we live in. I saw the changing shades of the trees they climbed and the rich colors of the birds they watched and named all the street dogs they avoided and saw myriad of insects they attacked. With the first showers in May coaxing a dry earth to break open and bloom, a butterfly sat on my open palm as a frog leaped across my drenched garden. And two cats snored on a plush leather chair, hugging each other for warmth, content in the knowledge that their bellies are full and they are safe in these harsh conditions.

As they got used to the wet weather, Mau and Miu started exploring the area and took longer trips around the street often disappearing for hours. Usually they came back at the end of the day tired and hungry but sometimes they got stuck in a neighboring house forcing me to extract them from precarious situations after a long explanation to the owners who hadn’t seen me since I was a kid. One such exploration led to this bloody sweaty condition of mine because Miu was trapped on a construction site and Mau screamed and paced agitatedly till I followed her and climbed these dilapidated stairs to rescue him. He was terrified and shaking and as soon as I picked him up, he started scratching me in defense and laid his mud dripping paws all over me. As soon as she brought me to him, Mau considered it an adequate fulfillment of her obligation and ignored both of us the entire way back.

Once we reached home, I filled their bowls with food and tended to my wounds. I saw all the different injuries I had accumulated over the months and watched them play with a card bordered delivery box, the excitement of the day already forgotten. I couldn’t help but smile. I had been smiling a lot lately. With each accidental scratch to my skin on the surface, an internal scar had slowly healed. I think of all the things I’d say if they could understand me. “Do you have any idea what you have done for me?” I might ask or “you have changed my life”, I’d convey or perhaps a more pragmatic “please stop bringing dead animals as gifts just because you think I’m not capable of hunting”, I’d implore. But as I saw two pairs of bright soulful eyes looking up at me, I sat down on the floor, brushed my fingers on their heads and settled for a whispered “thank you”.

0 comments 39 views
2 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail

By Dr. Elsa Lycias Joel

One day I decided to keep aside so many things that mattered a lot to me. This was no small step for me, a free-spirited woman. Somehow I was made to believe that I’m ‘Born Free’ because it was from Joy Adamson’s that my father picked my name. A state level TT player, classical dancer, handful of extracurricular activities, NCC camps, rough and tough cousins, stint with a National daily- all these and more convinced me I was self made to rise and shine, go far and wide. Two little girls changed my course of life. Today I’m a humble stay-at-home mother, for the reason that parenthood began on a good note. I love girls, wanted girls and my wish came true.

Turning back the clock I remember…

My little girl was not into sharing, a zealous guardian of her toys and games, stuffed animals and many more which of course she never even played with. But when another child showed an interest in, say, one, tiny stuffed kangaroo, my darling snatched it away. I used to wonder if I should browbeat her into civility. Very often, I did not. Finally I sent her to a play school because I liked the name of the school ‘sun shine’. And of course Lauren loved it there for the toys and snack hour. I filled her snack box with healthy stuff she hated and forced her into giving and taking thereby mutating genes. Or a fixation of a selfless gene! Today, I’m so proud to know that she is called the kindest in her class, a just and selfless human in her play group and a rascal among bullies.

My daughters are no shrinking violets. What more can be so gratifying to a mother who kept aside everything to raise two girls to more than they could be. One evening, at the park I let my little one handle a brat for herself even though I had the urge to end anything or anybody who bothered my children. As I pretended to ignore her she just pushed him away a little harder and he fell. Then, I called out to her. Giving me her cherubic smile she poked him with her toe just to let him know what was on her mind. I shuddered. But in this world, especially in India where the powerful and crooked love to bang into people and knock their molars loose, my little one learnt her first lesson to strike back. And I didn’t intimidate her.

During story time, my daughters did all the talking. I don’t really care where from and how did the idea that men utter 7,000 words a day versus women’s 20,000 come from as long as I hear my daughters talk sense. An occasional low murmur is all they expected from me. When I tried reading children’s stories to them, often they interrupted saying,” I know this story. Animals and trees never talk. They can’t”. This certainly interested me and I thanked God for merry little souls who were natural raconteurs, always good for a couple of laughs and have grown better over the years. Making up new stories everyday was tough but today I’m an author. ‘Perfect Endings’ for children was a result of their complaints “I know this story”. However as a proud mama what I believe is this: if my daughters tell a story, they are the best storytellers. If they paint, they do receive accolades. No gallery or critic needs to sanction them. This is what I call “job satisfaction” with my job as a mother.

‘Food time’ that always seemed to be a ‘not so good’ tussle turned into fun time after Barbara appeared on the scene. So, just to make the little fussy eater eat, Lauren tuned herself to eat all that I called healthy. My daughters’ taste buds not only got used to my recipes but the fact that nothing satisfies their hunger as much as my food does make me very proud.

When both of them were in the right mood, I coerced them into believing that love can change almost anything for good. They believed that love is a boomerang and took it in their own style just right for their age. So beautiful was their transformation, from toddlers to girls and into the swag teens with ideas taking different shapes on strong foundations I laid. To them, as of now, love is peace. My girls are becoming known as the best peacemakers in their small circles.

I hate liars, especially ones who know the art better than I do. For so long I thought my girls never knew what a ‘lie’ was. If I have brought up two benevolent liars, then this world would definitely be a better place for them. Benevolent lies can also be ‘channels of peace’.

Remember, the mutation and fixation mentioned in the second paragraph. My children are still hell bent on convincing me that if we love someone they should be made happy even if our happiness is or isn’t closely tied to theirs. When they played games, they were willing to lose to benefit their friends, to avoid a quarrel or to establish peace that passeth all understanding. Trying to figure out if this attribute would help them in the future I still chew down my nails.

Much alike other kinds, my girls loved to shop. Not just for them but for their playmates too. Then, with a shallow pocket, it was really tough to fight back my urge to take up a job.

Just as my mother points out the trees I had climbed and the hedgerows where I had gathered wildflowers as a child, I remind my girls of their favorite places, people and things. When they respond appropriately, I know I’m playing the role of a mother very well, much to my surprise.

Whenever we went for a stroll, I yearned for the Venti- Boreas, Notos, Eurus and Zephyr. The winds ballooning their frocks out and whipping their hair into tangles was a wonderful sight I loved to watch with equal joy.

And as my angels make new friends, I take it on me to remind them of their first friendship and cherish old friends and memories. An indulgent mom! I’ll do it knowing that someday, somewhere my girls would learn to make time for friends, trust and rely on them and as grey haired women gather with all their friends and stockpiled memories.

As a three year old Barbara used to go around the house searching for her dad paying no heed to Lauren who tried to explain in all 3 languages she knew. The idea that papa is out to make money to feed and clothe her never was never convincing. In the process of letting her know the reason behind papa’s unavailability I learnt my valuable lesson- that for a company or a firm, I’m just a worker but to my children I’m an idol, sometimes god. I promised myself that my prime job would be to pay attention to every little detail of theirs and be available till they spread their wings and fly away. Today, as teens they talk their hearts out with nil inhibition about everything under the sun. It’s not long ago when my girls believed that my kiss helps wounds heal faster and holding my pinkie warded off bad dreams.

I’ve got something most other working women miss out as parents. If I wish to, I know I can make money. If I don’t get to visit another country in the next ten years, I hope there is always another chance. But these few precious years will swiftly go by. No titles can replace the times when my daughters hug me to say, “I love you”. No money can replace the times when they lean their head on me and fall asleep. My intuition that I’m not their best keyboard or dance teacher is always right but my children consider me their most special teacher because they enjoy learning with me than with anybody else. Their preference to choose me over their TT coach reflects not only their trust and confidence but assures me that I’ve not compromised on the factors that build trust. The various ways they flaunt me as the best mom who can cook, dance, sing, write, articulate well and is game for anything boosts my self-esteem. “Mother hen” as I’m often addressed by my mom, “Helicopter mom” as called by my friends, “cosseting grandkid” as my late grandmother admonished me, I don’t know what fits me right because different situations demand a different you. Ultimately, motherhood is an honour and a blessing.

0 comments 23 views
6 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail

A woman has died in me

A woman of disease with a lack of peace.

An animal who would toil and ask nothing

A dried leaf who would flutter and flinch.

A victim of sex, an object of jest

Who would only moan at her best.

A giver of life, a dutiful wife

For the treacherous world; alas! so naïve.

No, it’s not death, but a murder

A phoenix reborn, you could shudder.

A cool shade for you to rest

With all respect and no more jest.

A spring of love for you to thrive

Together we grow, take a long flight.

A place of trust and compassion, for you to fall apart

Together we are complete, and broken, when kept apart.

I am a woman of strength you can’t barge

I refuse to be dumb, I now take charge.

PARWAAZ

0 comments 28 views
2 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
The Womb - Encouraging, Empowering and Celebrating Women.

The Womb is an e-platform to bring together a community of people who are passionate about women rights and gender justice. It hopes to create space for women issues in the media which are oft neglected and mostly negative. For our boys and girls to grow up in a world where everyone has equal opportunity irrespective of gender, it is important to create this space for women issues and women stories, to offset the patriarchal tilt in our mainstream media and society.

@2025 – The Womb. All Rights Reserved. Designed and Developed by The Womb Team

Are you sure want to unlock this post?
Unlock left : 0
Are you sure want to cancel subscription?