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widows

By K Vinay Kumar

The situation of widowed women in our country has not attracted the attention of policy-makers, may be because they are not a vocal group aggressively pressing for their rights and due place in the society. However, the situation of widows in our country is miserable on all the fronts – social, cultural and economic. They are treated in a degraded sub-human manner with various restrictions ranging from movement, clothing, holding of some items, to attending functions, etc. The widowed woman once expressed her pain – “I lost my husband, I was looked down by the family and the people surrounding me. The neighboring woman who would earlier come to speak to me, now went away as soon as they see me. If I cross their way, they would assume that something wrong will happen to them. What wrong did I do? It is my fate and destiny that I lost my husband but I didn’t choose to be a widow. If there is something which I can change, I could have certainly done it and saved my husband. But what could I do, if it is the decision of God? I also wanted to die rather than face these problems, but if I kill myself who will take care of my children. They will become orphans and I know no one will take care of them.” This statement by her has been haunting me for a long time. In rural India, women tend to be more worries about ‘what the society will say’, instead of caring for their own happiness and convenience. It is time that the governments do not neglect the sufferings of the widowed women in our country.

The economic hardships that widows face, is worth drawing attention to. We cannot presume that the conditions of urban widowed women are better than rural widowed women. In fact, they face more or less the same economic problems. A lot of widows in India are either illiterate or have only pursued basic education. Throughout their life, they have taken the household responsibilities, which is an unpaid twenty-four hours service. In this responsibility, they even forget the basic education that they have received and do not get time to work on any paid opportunities, making their economic situation worse off. 

The sudden demise of their loved one pushes many of them into a great social and psychological pressure which may end up in depression and other health issues. These women find it very difficult to gather the emotional courage and then also to compete in a market with younger women, who have advanced technical and communication skills. On one hand, they have the need to fetch a job for their children, pay their fees and meet their daily needs. On the other hand, they have no government schemes to benefit from, no space in the job market and no skills to help them fetch a livelihood. This pushes them to look for a job in informal sectors, where they are exploited to another extent without proper timings, overwork, hard to perform tasks, compromised safety measures, which may also endanger their lives. By seeing their mothers working hard to meet the demands of the house, the children of these families look for a job (sometime on the right path or some time on the wrong path) to supplement the resources by neglecting their education, sometimes getting trapped in illegal activities.

Different state governments are giving financial assistance which may not even be enough for a one time breakfast of their party MLA’s or MP’s, ranging from 200 to 2000 Rs. This financial assistance would barely cater to their needs apart from great uncertainties because of the range of requirements to be met, at the mercy of local political leaders, at the mercy of Panchayat officials and at last subject to the availability of funds. 

In some cases, half of the money that is deposited in the name of the financial assistance gets exhausted on the day of withdrawal itself, because of the travel requirements to get the money from banks. The names of these financial assistance programs are themselves so discriminating in nature as they use the terms such as  ‘vidhwa’, ‘vithanthu’, etc. Can’t we use some respectful words to change the attitudes of the people towards them as done in other cases? For example, the right term to be used for those who are differently abled is ‘divyang’.  

However keeping aside the terminology, let us continue with their financial assistance issues. Why I am emphasizing about the financial assistance is that this mere Rs. 200 or 2000 leaves these widows dependent on the governments. Once the government changes, this groups tends to be completely forgotten. So the governments need to bring forth a systemic program to ensure their financial independence and overall wellbeing. Many of these widows are willing to work, provided they are given adequate financial assistance to have their own source of livelihood such as assistance in establishing small shops, producing food items, establishing flour mills etc. 

If the governments could start a policy to empower the widows with financial assistance with subsidy, without guarantee and at a minimal or zero percent interest ranging from Rs. 50,000 to 1,00000, it could give a start to a new journey and make them financially independent. 

Widows are the prime targets for harassment not only at the workplace but also in their neighborhood. Recently I came across a case where an individual has been targeting single women through matrimonial websites. He targeted divorced and widowed women, married seven women and the count may be more but no single women filed a case against him. This is because of the lack of support from the family members and negligence of the society to their appeals. Most families prevent these women from approaching the police and taking legal action. The few who manage to report these cases, usually don’t have enough resources to employ a lawyer and fight. Add to this, the pressure that comes from the local leaders to settle the case, where police too plays their part in asking for their share of the bribe. So these women take a back-foot, considering the social atmosphere and other responsibilities in day-to-day life. 

The problem of the elderly widowed women is beyond description because of the lack of proper care, lack of food and increased medical expenditure which even pushes them some time to commit suicide. When I met Lakshmamma, an elderly widowed woman in my village, she said that she has four sons and two daughters, all are married and they are busy in their lives.  It has become difficult for them to meet their own needs, so she didn’t want to disturb them. The Government gives two thousand rupees and 5 Kgs of rice. That’s how she manages. She cooks in the afternoon and keeps a part of it for the night. If there is any medical problem, she goes to the government hospital and gets some medicines. 

When I asked  – “what will you do in case of any serious medical issue?” She replied – “What will I do now, I have lived enough. I am ready to go, whenever there is a call from god.”

 According to estimates, there are nearly 40 million widows in India and their number is rising year on year. In 2001 total number of widowed women is 18.5 lakh or 0.7 % of the total population and their number increased hugely in 2011 to 4.6% or 5.6 crores. This number might increase in the upcoming 2022 census because of the pandemic and the poverty that it has brought. So, it is a need of the hour that the central-state governments have to formulate a policy that would help them to become financially independent. For this governments have to establish skill imparting centers to ensure that they develop as entrepreneurs. The CSR funds can be roped in as an initial grant to start their own venture. Hope the government will make moves in this way to help the mothers and sisters of my country who lost their loved ones.   

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Anuj Dahiya

Kriti Sanon and Pankaj Tripathi starrer film, Mimi is the latest attempt by Bollywood to bring the taboo topic of surrogacy back in the mainstream (last being Chori Chori Chupke Chupke 2001). The film showcases the story of Mimi, played by Kriti giving her career best performance, who wishes to become a heroine in Mumbai and for which she is saving money. It is through a typical dance number (Bikaner ki chokri, Santre ki tokri) when an American couple wandering in India for over a year, John and Summer, the intended parents, see in Mimi a potential surrogate mother. Bhanu played by the enigmatic Pankaj Tripathi, plays the broker in here and convinces Mimi to be a surrogate and get compensated in return. Considering the huge money prospects involved, she agrees to it without much delay. The film is set in a small town of Rajasthan in the year 2013. The twist comes when the American couple abandons Mimi and the baby in womb in between and our surrogate Mimi is left all by herself. This tragic turn of events has been the harsh realities for many in India.

Legalised in 2002, India has become a hub of commercial surrogacy, so much that it has been called a baby factory. Commercial surrogacy is legal in Russia, Ukraine and some States of the USA, but considering the cheaper costs, India becomes a preferable destination. A report estimates it to be worth more than $400, but the ethics of the practice has been largely questioned.

As in Mimi, the reference of khet, ganna, beej to the commercial surrogacy, the practise has led to the commodification of reproductive labour and women’s body. It is accused of treating the child as a good, reproduction as a service to be traded and establishing control over women’s bodies. Commercial surrogacy is likened to organ sale rackets. There is also power dynamics involved where the rich try to rent the womb for themselves, the surrogates coming from the lowest economic rungs of society. Coming out of dire property, their consent to be surrogates can hardly be called informed. It is coercive since refusal is mostly difficult. Also, in majority of the cases, they are illiterate and barely get a copy of the contract signed. The broker keeps a major chunk of the compensation.

The commercial surrogacy in India has largely flourished because of absence of regulations and red-tapism. Come 2014 and the NDA government comes up with Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill which intended to ban commercial surrogacies over night. It allowed only altruistic surrogacy from close family members which would cover medical expenses and insurance and will be limited to Indian heterosexual and infertile couples, having completed five years of marriage. This bill was passed by Lok Sabha in 2015 but could not steer through the upper house of parliament and was therefore, referred to a select committee. The Select Committee headed by Bhupendra Yadav, after consulting various stakeholders suggested that widows and divorced women be included, the five year marriage and infertility clause be removed from the bill. The bill accepting the recommendations is still pending in the Parliament.

But the bill has its share of shortcomings even now. It falls short of taking into account the rights of live-in couples and LGBTQ community who wish to start a family beyond the traditional nation of parents. The community has started to get legal recognition in India and their rights need to be protected. Further the interests of surrogates have also been ignored as banning surrogacy straight away leaves them out of economic opportunities and their chance to improve their lot. As Dr Patel of Akanksha Hospital, Anand, Gujarat says, Banning is never the solution. The ban will give rise to an underground market for surrogacy which will only worsen the situation for poor women. 

The movie in the end strikes the right chords by focusing on adoption as a viable option. As it is conveyed, “If the orphaned children were to be a country, it would be the 7th largest in the world.” You can watch Mimi on Netflix and Jio Cinemas.

Anuj Dahiya

A student of Political Science

Instagram: @anuj__dahiya

Twiter: @unujdahiya

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